


Sunnydale to LA ~ via Huddersfield

by DisViciousGirl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisViciousGirl/pseuds/DisViciousGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Created after seeing a Buzzfeed article that considered what the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer would have been like had it been set in England. </p>
<p>Just a short, silly and hopefully tiny bit funny piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunnydale to LA ~ via Huddersfield

**Author's Note:**

> Written with input from kitty_scribble and WriggleRosie

Angel emerged from the sewer tunnels into the basement of the Hyperion, muttering to himself as he heaved the cover back into place.

"There! Put wood inth 'ole, unlike some. Led to half LA vampire pop'lation gettin' in las' time, did that."

He dusted off his hands and moved towards the staircase just as Gunn's voice floated down to him.

"Hey, Angel - you down there? We got a visitor, man!"

"Ey up, lad! I just got back," Angel replied as he he mounted the first stair before mumbling to himself again. "Give a man five minutes before you start to mither, would ya?"

The sight that greeted the dark vampire when he walked into the hotel's lobby did nothing to improve his curmudgeonly mood. The bleached menace and bane of his unlife slouched in one of the chairs while Wesley stood close by with a crossbow trained on him. The visitor fixed him with a bored stare.

"Angel, there you are - finally! Wanna call off your pet goons? I'm here on official business."

"Hell fire, Spike!" Angel moaned in disappointment and closed his eyes briefly in despair, missing the slightly confused look that flitted across the blonde's face. "What's up, lad? Everythin' alreet with t' Slayer?"

Spike's eyes took on a slightly dreamy expression and he huffed out an unnecessary breath.

"Oh yeah, everythin's fine. More than fine.... 's bloody wonderful...my golden girl..." he trailed off, lost in his thoughts and his hands made an unconscious gesture in the air that more than adequately described what he was thinking.

His hands stilled abruptly and his gaze snapped round to stare at Angel, eyes lighting up with sudden amusement. He stood, taking advantage of Wesley being as surprised as he was at the way Angel was talking and having let the crossbow aim fall to the floor. He walked closer, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a smirk.

"Say something else..."

Angel was losing patience. Why was his problem-childe staring at him like he'd just grown a second head? Wesley too, for that matter... And Gunn! Feeling suddenly paranoid, he did a quick check left and right to make sure that he really hadn't sprouted an extra appendage, but everything seemed present and correct. Spike's smirk had become a grin and Angel found himself feeling irrationally annoyed at his presence and wanted nothing more than to wipe the smile off the boy's insolent face.

"I'll tell thee this for nowt, lad - yer a bug's willy away from feeling the flat o' my hand..."

It was safe to say that the threat of violence did not have the desired effect. Angel seethed as Spike actually doubled over laughing, a sudden loud outburst of mirth that echoed around the lobby as he stamped his foot and tried to draw breath to speak, while hee-hawing like a donkey.

"You're... You're..." He made a valiant attempt at speech but erupted into giggles again at the sour look on Angel's face and remained unperturbed when the larger man began to advance.

"You tekkin the mick, lad? Wind yer neck in, 'fore I belt ya!'

"You're a bloody YORKSHIREMAN!" Spike finally burst out. "Oh, this is just too bloody perfect! Remember when you berated me in that mineshaft and now here you are, talkin' the dialect like a native!"

"Cut it out Spike, I'll not tell thee again..." Angel forced the words between gritted teeth and tried to make sense of what the blonde was saying. Yorkshire dialect? He was speaking just as he always did!

"I'll not tell thee - UNGHF!" Spike's exaggeration of Angel's current accent was abruptly cut off when the bigger man punched him hard in the stomach. He jumped back out of arm's reach.

"Hey! I came here to help you! Tell him, Watcher."

In the face of Angel's rage, Wesley nervously stepped forward.

"Strange as it sounds, Angel... Spike's correct. He's here on a mission of mercy, as it were."

"S' right," Spike looked smug. "I'm the only one who knows how to fix it you giant git, so keep those paws to yourself, right?"

Angel felt suddenly unsteady on his feet and grabbed the back of a chair. Why were they all telling him he was from Yorkshire?

"Flippin' 'eck Wes! Stop faffin' about and tell 'us what's up - all this has me reet flummoxed!"

Spike tried unsuccessfully to suppress another snort of laughter and then took refuge behind Wesley when Angel made as if to advance again.

"Perhaps Spike should explain what happened?" Wesley said pleadingly. "It appears there was a spell and, um.." He trailed off and gestured at Spike to continue.

Spike sat himself down in the chair he'd vacated earlier, looking serious at last.

"Watcher's right. Bloody Scoobies have been muckin' about with magic again. I'm not even sure what they were trying to do - wasn't there - but seems someone said your name at the wrong time and it got you whammied."

"Ee, by gum!" The words were out before he could stop them and Spike threw his head back and fell into another fit of the giggles.

"This really is priceless! Can someone record this?"

Angel's grip on the furniture increased and Gunn, sensing an imminent staking, cut in.

"What kind of a spell leaves a dude talking like that? What good is that to anybody?"

Spike shrugged. "I dunno. Magic was never really my thing, Charlie boy."

"That's coz you were fit for nowt as a fledgling. Didn't know you were born. Not like when I were a fledge - we had to be up and kill 20 people before breakfast. Learning spells? We'd have given our right arm to be sat around learning spells!"

Everyone stared at Angel, puzzled by the sudden outburst and he lapsed into near silence again, just muttering quietly about 'nangling fledge tykes'.

"Spike - you said you had a solution?"

Spike had returned to a lounging position on the chair, one leg thrown over the side. He curled his tongue behind his teeth and threw Wesley a sly smile.

"I do... What's it worth, Percy?"

"Me not staking ya where you sit, lad!" Angel growled, making Spike snigger again before turning back to the Watcher.

"Only kidding. Truth of it is, I feel bad enough for the lot of you that you have to put up with this great thick-headed, bog-trotting mick as it is. I just can't find it in my black little heart to make you suffer him as a Yorkshireman as well." He reached into his duster and pulled out a piece of paper which he handed to Wesley. "Here's your cure. Off you pop now, the two of you and make with the abracadabra. Angel, I think you have to get naked."

Angel's eyes widened in panic as Wesley scanned quickly through the spell and cast a withering glance at Spike.

"He's just baiting you; there's no nudity required. It's a simple enough formula, if you'd care to follow me it'll only take a few minutes." Angel nodded and followed Wes in silence, afraid to make any further comment for fear of yet more ridicule from his errant childe and so he settled for fixing him with a hard stare instead. Spike gave him a coy smile and a wave in return and then turned his attention back to the hunter.

"So how's business?"

"Slow," Gunn replied. "This is the most interesting thing to happen in weeks." He glanced away from Spike over to Wesley's office where he could see him waving some kind of smoking branch over Angel's head while he recited from the paper Spike had given him.

Spike looked too and had just opened his mouth to comment on the scene when Cordelia walked in and attracted his gaze. Unable to resist the inevitable snarking match he leapt to his feet, smirking when she didn't even flinch.

"If it isn't the resident cheerleader! You up for a tumble, love?"

Cordelia didn't miss a beat as she dropped her handbag on to the table.

"Drop dead, Spike."

"Already have done."

"Encore," she rejoined before turning to Gunn. "What is bleach-boy even doing here? And what's going on in there... WHOAH!" She shouted in surprise as there was what appeared to be a minor explosion in Wesley's office. She started toward the door but before she could get there it opened and both men emerged, coughing.

"What the hell is going on?" She tried again but before anyone could explain Angel was talking.

"Did it work? Do I sound normal again?" He looked around at them all and sagged in relief as he heard an affirmative chorus. He turned to Spike to send him away with a flea in his ear but the blonde opened his mouth and spoke first.

“有 艘你的 据说他 立刻 弄人骂了， 安哥拉”

They all stared at him. Cordelia was the first to voice the thought in everyone's mind.

"Ummm.... What?"

Spike frowned - what did the bint mean, 'what'?

“嗄热 有 地阿佛”

Suddenly, Gunn realised what was going on.

"Cordy, you said Spike's name just now, right?"

"I guess... Yeah. When I told him to drop dead. Which, by the way, remains an excellent suggestion."

Wesley cottoned on too and smiled. He removed his glasses and began to concentrate on polishing them.

"It would seem that Cordelia happened to utter your name at just the wrong moment, Spike. You now find yourself subject to the same, ah, affliction that Angel had. It would appear to be a little worse, however. And here's the kicker - I'm afraid I'm now all out of half the necessary ingredients to counter it. Terribly sorry."

Spike's mouth opened and closed several times. He'd sounded normal to him! Angel walked over and slung a big arm around his shoulders as Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn all slipped away to find something to do.

"Guess you'll have to head back to Sunnydale and get the Scoobies to put you right again."

Spike didn't even risk speaking. Instead he gestured to his mouth and made a questioning face - Angel had to tell him what he sounded like!

"You want to know how you sound?"

Relieved to have made himself understood, Spike nodded. The relief quickly gave way to annoyance when Angel added, "It's kind of hard for me to explain how you sound... What?" Angel feigned hurt when Spike glared at him. "I'm sorry, boy - I don't speak Chinese..."

**Author's Note:**

> The Chinese characters are entirely random, done using my iPad keyboard, so it's all gibberish, I'm sure.


End file.
